“We consume; we don’t experience. We settle; we don’t savour. All of this means that we “do” productive.
We should “be” productive.”
In order to make this happen, you need to be aware and have focus. (What’s even more interesting is that you need to be aware to have full focus and you need to have focus in order to be fully aware.)
I’d like to offer a 90 second exercise to help you get better perspective, become aware, and find a small measure of focus.
- After you’re done reading this piece, just stop and do nothing for 30 seconds. It may help to focus on your breath and close your eyes while doing so. But do this no longer than 30 seconds today.
- Once you’re done with the 30 seconds, grab a piece of paper and a pen/pencil and write down everything you think you need to do, ought to do, or want to do over the course of 30 seconds. You should time this. Stop once the 30 seconds is up.
- Take a final 30 seconds to choose one of those things to work on today. Commit to working on it so that you can honestly say you have made progress on it before day’s end.
That’s it. That’s all I want you to do. By doing this, you’re being aware. And by working on just one thing intentionally, you’re exercising focus.
“I am a human being, not a human doing.” – Kurt Vonnegut
I came across a very nice Christmas story, titled, Christmas Presence: Giving What We Need and Want Most. It is written by Charles Moore.
Here is an Audio Recording of the story. (.m4a file) (On an iPad, you may need to download it.)
The text of the story can be found at:
I know this is a message I need to remember.
I’m not sure where I first heard this, and I can’t find it, so I’m restating it here.
Myths about Finding a Spouse and Marriage
- There is a perfect spouse out there for you. (You should look for that perfect spouse.)
- Your spouse will fulfill your needs and your married life will be great.
- If #1 and #2 don’t work (you must not have picked the perfect spouse), then start over with step #1.
It summarizes the three myths in this statement.
Believing that “the one” is out there, waiting to “complete you,” inevitably leads to discontentment and maybe even divorce.
What I posted on https://www.ideapod.com/idea/The-Sad-Tragic-Truth-About-Our-Relationships/5631886668f605b36187ef32
“The Sad Tragic Truth About Our Relationships” needs to become “The Realistic Truth About Our Relationships.” Hollywood ‘relationships’ showing two people with faces inches from each other in ecstasy, make good entertainment, but are not the model for a realistic long-term relationship (geez, or even marriage). Once we understand this realistic truth, then perhaps we have a chance (at a lasting relationship).
We need to learn the Power of Commitment and how to have a active, lifelong love relationship (which will have some, but not non-stop, ecstasy). Part of the power that comes from commitment is, ironically, joy.
This is all (well, at least mostly) learned and not a hormonal (physical) feeling/sensation.
The cool thing is, that one this is learned (the Power of Commitment) then the hormonal/physical feelings can kick in — in a lasting way.
Scott Stanley’s wrote a book, The Power of Commitment: A Guide to Active, Lifelong Love. I have not read it, but I like the message in the title.