Three Myths about *Finding a Spouse*

I’m not sure where I first heard this, and I can’t find it, so I’m restating it here.

Myths about Finding a Spouse and Marriage

  1. There is a perfect spouse out there for you. (You should look for that perfect spouse.)
  2. Your spouse will fulfill your needs and your married life will be great.
  3. If #1 and #2 don’t work (you must not have picked the perfect spouse), then start over with step #1.


Good article at

It summarizes the three myths in this statement.

Believing that “the one” is out there, waiting to “complete you,” inevitably leads to discontentment and maybe even divorce.

What I posted on

“The Sad Tragic Truth About Our Relationships” needs to become “The Realistic Truth About Our Relationships.”¬† Hollywood ‘relationships’ showing two people with faces inches from each other in ecstasy, make good entertainment, but are not the model for a realistic long-term relationship (geez, or even marriage). Once we understand this realistic truth, then perhaps we have a chance (at a lasting relationship).

We need to learn the Power of Commitment and how to have a active, lifelong love relationship (which will have some, but not non-stop, ecstasy).  Part of the power that comes from commitment is, ironically, joy.
This is all (well, at least mostly) learned and not a hormonal (physical) feeling/sensation.

The cool thing is, that one this is learned (the Power of Commitment) then the hormonal/physical feelings can kick in — in a lasting way.


Scott Stanley’s wrote a book, The Power of Commitment: A Guide to Active, Lifelong Love. I have not read it, but I like the message in the title.