Three Myths about *Finding a Spouse*

I’m not sure where I first heard this, and I can’t find it, so I’m restating it here.

Myths about Finding a Spouse and Marriage

  1. There is a perfect spouse out there for you. (You should look for that perfect spouse.)
  2. Your spouse will fulfill your needs and your married life will be great.
  3. If #1 and #2 don’t work (you must not have picked the perfect spouse), then start over with step #1.

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Good article at http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2009/myths-about-soul-mates

It summarizes the three myths in this statement.

Believing that “the one” is out there, waiting to “complete you,” inevitably leads to discontentment and maybe even divorce.

What I posted on https://www.ideapod.com/idea/The-Sad-Tragic-Truth-About-Our-Relationships/5631886668f605b36187ef32

“The Sad Tragic Truth About Our Relationships” needs to become “The Realistic Truth About Our Relationships.”¬† Hollywood ‘relationships’ showing two people with faces inches from each other in ecstasy, make good entertainment, but are not the model for a realistic long-term relationship (geez, or even marriage). Once we understand this realistic truth, then perhaps we have a chance (at a lasting relationship).

We need to learn the Power of Commitment and how to have a active, lifelong love relationship (which will have some, but not non-stop, ecstasy).  Part of the power that comes from commitment is, ironically, joy.
This is all (well, at least mostly) learned and not a hormonal (physical) feeling/sensation.

The cool thing is, that one this is learned (the Power of Commitment) then the hormonal/physical feelings can kick in — in a lasting way.

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Scott Stanley’s wrote a book, The Power of Commitment: A Guide to Active, Lifelong Love. I have not read it, but I like the message in the title.